Resolved Question: should I separate children and adults at my wedding?
Posted on Jun 08, 2009 under Wedding Cake Toppers Q&A |My wedding is coming up in about 2 months, and it is moderately but not over-the-top formal (black-tie optional for those who already own their own tuxes/gowns and feel like wearing them, but if not no biggie whatsoever). I want everyone to relax and have fun, but on the other hand I want everything to be beautiful. Pretty standard there I think!
What I was wondering was whether or not people thought that separating the kids off from the adults seemed like a good idea or a bad idea. There are quite a few relatively little kids invited and I want them to a.) have fun b.) not wreck anything and c.) enable mom and dad to bring their kids while still enjoying some grownup time.
So first: the cocktail hour. My cocktail hour is held right after the ceremony, and I was thinking I could organize a Kids Tour of the gardens (it’s 16 acres) so that moms and dads could drink champagne and socialize grownup style. I have a wonderful employee who volunteered to supervise all the children that evening or act as a team leader if more children show up than expected, and as she has worked with children for many years (1 year with me personally), I trust her. Would parents agree to foist off their children on a stranger even if the bride vouches for her? I want to show the utmost courtesy to both adult and child guests and try to make sure everybody has fun, but I don’t know if parents will want to surrender their tykes for this purpose or not.
And then what about dinner? Dinner in the main reception hall is a lush affair. Four courses, filet mignon, gold-rimmed plates, fine crystal, enormous (tempting to stick little fingers into) cake, etc. I do have an extra space at the botanical gardens where I could set up a kids-only area, complete with pizza, paper plates, a separate (smaller and less costly) cake, and of course my assistant. This would mean the reception would be essentially adults-only. Do you think the moms and dads would welcome this separation, or do you think they would be like, hey, how come my kid isn’t sitting with us? Should I just put all the kids together with mom and dad? The problem THERE is that we lose a lot of money - kids don’t need the fine china for one slice of cheese pizza and my fiance is dead-set against a seating plan (he thinks - probably rightly - that this is far-out stuffy) and as such we won’t know where the kids wind up and rent way too many place settings. This is likely to set us back $500 or so. We might be able to arrange a children’s area in the foyer of our reception hall instead, away from the fray but not quite outside of it, but we feel this will make mom and dad feel responsible and unable to relax. What to do?
Hm…so, dinner in a totally separate room for kids, or dinner in the main room at a separate kids table?
